Life and Other Oddities

I guess things have turned a little bit differently than I expected.  I have decided to go back to college to finish my degree.  Yeah, I know, where the hell did that come from?  I am not even entirely sure myself.  I just want to do it.  I really would like to finish out my art degree at say UW-Green Bay seeing as thy have a fiber arts program.  Maybe I could still have my business and go there twice a week or something, slowly chipping away at it?

On another note, I am now single again.  I just couldn't do it any more; the long distance thing was draining me beyond what I could manage.  I still am in love with the man, so what do you do with that?

In the past, I probably would be joining a dating site by now, only days after our dissolve, but I feel so utterly exhausted there is that looming feeling I will not date again.  Even though that is probably hogwash, I still feel as though I've got a love hangover and have been run over by a hummer.

I know I can't eat myself into oblivion, but that's really tempting.  I guess part of the hard part is I should have stood my ground early in the relationship about not moving and when I found out he wasn't so hot on the idea of marriage, gotten outta dodge.

There are, of course, many redeemable qualities about the man I was with to make me still want to be with him.  That is also the pickle here, I want to be with him.  With him in the same town, the same house, the same marriage, sharing a life.  There were other priorities on his list, which kept me waiting.  Waiting for him to realize how great I am, how loving, how giving, how fun, how sexy, how I'd make a great wife, so that he would move by me asap and snatch me up before any one else could!

Hell or High Water

Sometimes you just have to ride it out.  There is much in life that is beyond our control.  Too much, it feels like most of the time.  We play little games with ourselves to distract and deal with all the things we don’t really have power over.  For some it is health issues, others have cycles of repeating conflicts with partners, troubled children, tragedy, abuse, family members with addictions, mental illness; it’s a miracle any of are still brave enough to stick around through it all.  There seems to be a common thread; everyone is in the same boat.  I highly doubt there is anyone in the world that wouldn’t want to change things about their life. If people are really honest about it, no one lives an ideal existence.  We get pulled and we pull ourselves into fantasies, campaigns, movements, and TV to feel as though we are making a difference.  If we can understand that most of this life’s conflict is beyond our control, we must also understand there are a few things we can change.  We needn’t get lost in the overwhelming hopelessness of the day to day, but begin to live our lives with one eye open and one eye shut.  As to not be overwhelmed by the pain surrounding us, and yet be watchful for the things we can change.

Coconut Fantasia

Here are a few recipes I am gathering to make a coconut cake for one of my clients. Slightly modified to be SF, naturally.

Coconut Buttercream Frosting

6 cups powdered erythitol
½ teaspoon sea salt
½ cup boiling water
3 1/4 cups cultured butter
1 tablespoon gluten-free coconut extract
-Coarsely shredded coconut, for decorating

In the bowl of an electric mixer, combine powdered erythitol and salt. 
 With whisk attachment, add boiling water and whip at medium speed until smooth and cool, approximately 5 minutes.
Remove whisk attachment and replace with paddle attachment. Add butter to mixing bowl and beat on medium speed until smooth, approximately 3 minutes. Increase speed to medium-high and whip until light and fluffy and increased in volume, about 10 minutes.

Adapted from http://www.livingwithout.com/recipes/gluten_dairy_free_coconut_cake-2421-1.html

White-chocolate Frosting

• 3 cups organic heavy cream, chilled
• 9 ounces unsweetened white chocolate, coarsely chopped
• 1 C powdered erythitol
• 2 teaspoons coconut or golden rum
• 1/8 teaspoon fine sea salt

Chill bowl of stand mixer and whisk attachment or large metal bowl and beaters for at least 15 minutes.

In small saucepan over moderate heat, bring 1 cup cream to simmer. Transfer white chocolate to medium heatproof bowl, pour hot cream over, and whisk until smooth. Whisk in rum and salt. Let cool at room temperature until thickened slightly, about 1 hour.

In chilled bowl of electric mixer fitted with whisk attachment, beat remaining 2 cups cream with erythitol at moderately high speed until whisk leaves marks but cream does not quite hold soft peaks, 6 to 8 minutes. Turn mixer off, then add white chocolate mixture and beat just until stiff peaks begin to form, about 5 minutes. (Do not over beat, or cream will curdle.) Refrigerate until firm, about 3 hours. (Frosting can be made ahead and refrigerated, covered, up to 8 hours.)

Adapted from http://www.epicurious.com/recipes/food/views/Gluten-Free-Coconut-Layer-Cake-241926

Coconut Layer Cake

• 1 3/4 cup almond flour
• 2 tablespoons coconut flour
• 10 large eggs, at room temperature, separated
• 1 tablespoon coconut or golden rum
• 2 cups powdered erythitol
• 1/4 teaspoon cream of tartar
• 1/4 teaspoon fine sea salt

Preheat oven to 350F. Line bottoms of cake pans with parchment paper.

In large bowl, whisk together almond and coconut flours.

In bowl of electric mixer fitted with whisk attachment, beat egg yolks at high speed until pale yellow and fluffy, 2 to 3 minutes. Reduce speed to moderately low and beat in rum and all but 1 tablespoon erythitol. Scrape down bowl, then increase speed to high and beat until pale and thick, about 1 minute. Reduce speed to low and gradually add almond and coconut flour mixture, scraping down bowl and folding in last of flour by hand. Set aside.

In clean dry bowl of electric mixer fitted with whisk attachment, beat egg whites on moderate speed until very foamy, about 1 minute. Beat in cream of tartar, salt, and remaining 1 tablespoon erythitol. Increase speed to moderately high and beat until whites hold stiff peaks, about 2 minutes. Fold 1 cup beaten egg whites into yolk mixture to lighten, then gently fold in remaining whites. Divide batter between pans, smoothing tops, and bake until layers are golden brown and toothpick inserted in center comes out clean, 20 to 25 minutes. Invert pans onto wire racks and cool completely, at least 1 hour. Run knife around cake layers to loosen, invert onto rack, and peel off the parchment.

Adapted from http://www.epicurious.com/recipes/food/views/Gluten-Free-Coconut-Layer-Cake-241926

Coconut Cupcakes

3 eggs
½ cup coconut oil
½ cup raw honey
½ cup coconut flour
½ teaspoon celtic sea salt
½ teaspoon baking soda
½ cup unsweetened shredded coconut

In a small bowl blend eggs, coconut oil and honey with a hand blender.  Pulse in coconut flour, salt, baking soda and shredded coconut.  Allow batter to sit and thicken just a bit.  Line a cupcake tin with unbleached baking cups.  Spoon ¼ cup cupcake batter into each cupcake liner.  Bake at 350° for 20-25 minutes.  Remove cupcakes from oven and allow to cool for 20 minutes.

Makes about 10 cupcakes


Adapted from http://www.elanaspantry.com/coconut-cupcakes-key-lime-icing/

Summertime Fish Tacos

Ok to break up the sewing obsession here is a yummy recipe I happened upon in BHG, which I modified for Betsy Land.

Fish Tacos

Baked Fillets

4 thawed tilapia fillets
1/2 garlic powder
1/4 tsp sea salt
1 tsp chili powder
1/2 ground cumin
1-2 TB grape seed oil
1/2 green cabbage, shredded
1 handful fresh cilantro, chopped

Preheat oven to 450° F.  Wash and pat fillets dry.  Place in a greased baking dish (I use grape seed or coconut oil.)  Combine seasonings and grape seed oil in a small dish and spoon over fish.  Pop the fish in the oven for 5-7 minutes.  Fish will flake apart easily when pulled with a fork when completely cooked.

Serve with chebe tortillas, mango salsa, shredded cabbage, and fresh cilantro.

Chebe Tortillas

2 eggs
2 TB grapeseed oil
4 TB almond milk
1 packet chebe purpose or onion/garlic mix

Combine ingredients in a medium bowl.  Knead dough with hands until a ball forms.  Separate dough into 6-8 balls.  Roll tortillas out until 1/4 inch thickness.  Fry over medium heat for about 1 minute on each side.  

Mango Salsa

2 mango, finely diced
1 C pineapple, finely diced
1/4 C fresh squeezed orange juice
1 handful cilantro
 1/2 med red pepper, chopped
1/2 med red onion

Combine ingredients in a medium bowl.  Serve room temp or chilled.