Three Wishes

#1
 Bias Tape Maker.  Not even necessarily the $100 machine, but the tips that make various sizes at the least.

#2
Dress form.  Whether its a branded or a homemade.

#3
Crafting area.  Somewhere I can create and not have to feel like its engulfing my living space.

Life and Other Oddities

I guess things have turned a little bit differently than I expected.  I have decided to go back to college to finish my degree.  Yeah, I know, where the hell did that come from?  I am not even entirely sure myself.  I just want to do it.  I really would like to finish out my art degree at say UW-Green Bay seeing as thy have a fiber arts program.  Maybe I could still have my business and go there twice a week or something, slowly chipping away at it?

On another note, I am now single again.  I just couldn't do it any more; the long distance thing was draining me beyond what I could manage.  I still am in love with the man, so what do you do with that?

In the past, I probably would be joining a dating site by now, only days after our dissolve, but I feel so utterly exhausted there is that looming feeling I will not date again.  Even though that is probably hogwash, I still feel as though I've got a love hangover and have been run over by a hummer.

I know I can't eat myself into oblivion, but that's really tempting.  I guess part of the hard part is I should have stood my ground early in the relationship about not moving and when I found out he wasn't so hot on the idea of marriage, gotten outta dodge.

There are, of course, many redeemable qualities about the man I was with to make me still want to be with him.  That is also the pickle here, I want to be with him.  With him in the same town, the same house, the same marriage, sharing a life.  There were other priorities on his list, which kept me waiting.  Waiting for him to realize how great I am, how loving, how giving, how fun, how sexy, how I'd make a great wife, so that he would move by me asap and snatch me up before any one else could!

Hell or High Water

Sometimes you just have to ride it out.  There is much in life that is beyond our control.  Too much, it feels like most of the time.  We play little games with ourselves to distract and deal with all the things we don’t really have power over.  For some it is health issues, others have cycles of repeating conflicts with partners, troubled children, tragedy, abuse, family members with addictions, mental illness; it’s a miracle any of are still brave enough to stick around through it all.  There seems to be a common thread; everyone is in the same boat.  I highly doubt there is anyone in the world that wouldn’t want to change things about their life. If people are really honest about it, no one lives an ideal existence.  We get pulled and we pull ourselves into fantasies, campaigns, movements, and TV to feel as though we are making a difference.  If we can understand that most of this life’s conflict is beyond our control, we must also understand there are a few things we can change.  We needn’t get lost in the overwhelming hopelessness of the day to day, but begin to live our lives with one eye open and one eye shut.  As to not be overwhelmed by the pain surrounding us, and yet be watchful for the things we can change.

Coconut Fantasia

Here are a few recipes I am gathering to make a coconut cake for one of my clients. Slightly modified to be SF, naturally.

Coconut Buttercream Frosting

6 cups powdered erythitol
½ teaspoon sea salt
½ cup boiling water
3 1/4 cups cultured butter
1 tablespoon gluten-free coconut extract
-Coarsely shredded coconut, for decorating

In the bowl of an electric mixer, combine powdered erythitol and salt. 
 With whisk attachment, add boiling water and whip at medium speed until smooth and cool, approximately 5 minutes.
Remove whisk attachment and replace with paddle attachment. Add butter to mixing bowl and beat on medium speed until smooth, approximately 3 minutes. Increase speed to medium-high and whip until light and fluffy and increased in volume, about 10 minutes.

Adapted from http://www.livingwithout.com/recipes/gluten_dairy_free_coconut_cake-2421-1.html

White-chocolate Frosting

• 3 cups organic heavy cream, chilled
• 9 ounces unsweetened white chocolate, coarsely chopped
• 1 C powdered erythitol
• 2 teaspoons coconut or golden rum
• 1/8 teaspoon fine sea salt

Chill bowl of stand mixer and whisk attachment or large metal bowl and beaters for at least 15 minutes.

In small saucepan over moderate heat, bring 1 cup cream to simmer. Transfer white chocolate to medium heatproof bowl, pour hot cream over, and whisk until smooth. Whisk in rum and salt. Let cool at room temperature until thickened slightly, about 1 hour.

In chilled bowl of electric mixer fitted with whisk attachment, beat remaining 2 cups cream with erythitol at moderately high speed until whisk leaves marks but cream does not quite hold soft peaks, 6 to 8 minutes. Turn mixer off, then add white chocolate mixture and beat just until stiff peaks begin to form, about 5 minutes. (Do not over beat, or cream will curdle.) Refrigerate until firm, about 3 hours. (Frosting can be made ahead and refrigerated, covered, up to 8 hours.)

Adapted from http://www.epicurious.com/recipes/food/views/Gluten-Free-Coconut-Layer-Cake-241926

Coconut Layer Cake

• 1 3/4 cup almond flour
• 2 tablespoons coconut flour
• 10 large eggs, at room temperature, separated
• 1 tablespoon coconut or golden rum
• 2 cups powdered erythitol
• 1/4 teaspoon cream of tartar
• 1/4 teaspoon fine sea salt

Preheat oven to 350F. Line bottoms of cake pans with parchment paper.

In large bowl, whisk together almond and coconut flours.

In bowl of electric mixer fitted with whisk attachment, beat egg yolks at high speed until pale yellow and fluffy, 2 to 3 minutes. Reduce speed to moderately low and beat in rum and all but 1 tablespoon erythitol. Scrape down bowl, then increase speed to high and beat until pale and thick, about 1 minute. Reduce speed to low and gradually add almond and coconut flour mixture, scraping down bowl and folding in last of flour by hand. Set aside.

In clean dry bowl of electric mixer fitted with whisk attachment, beat egg whites on moderate speed until very foamy, about 1 minute. Beat in cream of tartar, salt, and remaining 1 tablespoon erythitol. Increase speed to moderately high and beat until whites hold stiff peaks, about 2 minutes. Fold 1 cup beaten egg whites into yolk mixture to lighten, then gently fold in remaining whites. Divide batter between pans, smoothing tops, and bake until layers are golden brown and toothpick inserted in center comes out clean, 20 to 25 minutes. Invert pans onto wire racks and cool completely, at least 1 hour. Run knife around cake layers to loosen, invert onto rack, and peel off the parchment.

Adapted from http://www.epicurious.com/recipes/food/views/Gluten-Free-Coconut-Layer-Cake-241926

Coconut Cupcakes

3 eggs
½ cup coconut oil
½ cup raw honey
½ cup coconut flour
½ teaspoon celtic sea salt
½ teaspoon baking soda
½ cup unsweetened shredded coconut

In a small bowl blend eggs, coconut oil and honey with a hand blender.  Pulse in coconut flour, salt, baking soda and shredded coconut.  Allow batter to sit and thicken just a bit.  Line a cupcake tin with unbleached baking cups.  Spoon ¼ cup cupcake batter into each cupcake liner.  Bake at 350° for 20-25 minutes.  Remove cupcakes from oven and allow to cool for 20 minutes.

Makes about 10 cupcakes


Adapted from http://www.elanaspantry.com/coconut-cupcakes-key-lime-icing/

Summertime Fish Tacos

Ok to break up the sewing obsession here is a yummy recipe I happened upon in BHG, which I modified for Betsy Land.

Fish Tacos

Baked Fillets

4 thawed tilapia fillets
1/2 garlic powder
1/4 tsp sea salt
1 tsp chili powder
1/2 ground cumin
1-2 TB grape seed oil
1/2 green cabbage, shredded
1 handful fresh cilantro, chopped

Preheat oven to 450° F.  Wash and pat fillets dry.  Place in a greased baking dish (I use grape seed or coconut oil.)  Combine seasonings and grape seed oil in a small dish and spoon over fish.  Pop the fish in the oven for 5-7 minutes.  Fish will flake apart easily when pulled with a fork when completely cooked.

Serve with chebe tortillas, mango salsa, shredded cabbage, and fresh cilantro.

Chebe Tortillas

2 eggs
2 TB grapeseed oil
4 TB almond milk
1 packet chebe purpose or onion/garlic mix

Combine ingredients in a medium bowl.  Knead dough with hands until a ball forms.  Separate dough into 6-8 balls.  Roll tortillas out until 1/4 inch thickness.  Fry over medium heat for about 1 minute on each side.  

Mango Salsa

2 mango, finely diced
1 C pineapple, finely diced
1/4 C fresh squeezed orange juice
1 handful cilantro
 1/2 med red pepper, chopped
1/2 med red onion

Combine ingredients in a medium bowl.  Serve room temp or chilled.

A Little Bit of Show and Share

I have been gathering a few bits and blobs of delicious wedding dress fair, and for the first time, I am going to share it with you.  I always have some odd bunch of feelings rise to the top of my mind when I talk wedding goodies like when washing berries and the ugly ones float up to the surface.  Hopefully, if I just keep sharing a little blob here and there, I can successfully collect all those ugly berry feelings and dispose of them properly!  After all, if a girl wants to dream a little about when she'll feel beautiful and happy surrounded by good friends and family, why shouldn't she be allowed that pleasure?

All that and a bag of chips!

Just Ideas Folks

I must admit I have been distracting myself from the stress of being in a long distance relationship with wedding dress ideas.  Why not forget the pining and loneliness with beauty and design???

I have reading sewing books, searching online, sketching, and generally trying to pin point key design elements that would glorify my body lines, provide points of interest, and aesthetic satisfaction.

Many wedding and formal wear sewing books suggest trying on actual gowns to find the best shapes to adorn your figure with, noting sleeve, neckline, bodice, and skirt shapes.

Many wedding magazines encourage to brides to choose their gown keeping in mind body shape and which lines accentuate the positive.  Imploring ladies to access whether they are: slender, athletic, curvy, high waist-ed, short waist-ed, queen sized, petite...

As I take note of what I like from certain gowns, I can't help but feel two things.  One thirty years from now none of this will have any weight on my happiness with my partner or the greater world, and two that there will always be more beautiful gown.

The thinking that there will always be a more beautiful gown scares me.  Not in a bogeyman hiding in my closet in a beautiful Vera Wang dress sort of way, but more that I feel overwhelmed by the possibilities.  Supposedly women find just the right gown all the time.  They try it on and bingo they're sold.  I have some fear arising that I will never have that click in this arena.  Or maybe that I will try on a dress with a $$$$ price tag or even $$$.  These price ranges to me seems like more money than should be reasonable spent on a dress one wears for about a day.  I get the thinking.  It's the one outfit you'll be photographed in more than anything else, and of course one must think of comfort.  More expensive gowns are supposed to be more comfortable having better craftsmanship and fit.  For an outfit that is to be worn ad infinitum on your big day, I can see how that would be an important factor.  What I am trying to say is this since I am making my gown, will I get that same choirs of angels- light shining-forth- click of perfection feeling?  Gosh I hope so.

Small Angry Outburst Turns that Frown Upsidedown

I wasn't really aware of any kind of rage brewing under my skin this morning after I woke up, but somewhere between the mall parking lot and a red mini van, a episode occurred.  I was beeped at as I was backing out of my slot in the huge concrete palace that is the mall parking ramp.  I fully realize she was cruising doing 30 mph in that grey on grey cave, and she had ever right to honk as I was beginning my escape.  Somehow this simple beep, sent me over the edge.  I was mad.  Yelling, cursing, blaspheming, all followed for several blocks.  I hated her, and I wanted her to know it.  Or was I really upset about something else?  I try to keep an eye on my feelings; processing and directing them accordingly.  Not in a repressed, stuffing, this girls gonna blow sort of way.  Nononononono.  More of a hmmm I feel bad, what's this about? what do I need? sort of way.  That lady allowed me to tap into something much deeper than what I had been struggling this week to sort out on the surface.  

Surprisingly, I feel much better than I have all week.  Should I make yelling at the top of my lungs a weekly therapy?

Welcome to Betsy Land!

So here is my revisiting to blogging from a short stint six or so years ago.  Yes, that's right folks a new and improved Betsy is at it again and is here to ramble on about life in Betsyland: recipes, relationships, sewing, natural health, life in the midwest, random ideas, ramblings, and a few dreams to top it off.

I know am growing into a different part of myself, the creative, expressive part I suppose.  With the onset of my bout with mono a few months ago I returned to sewing after many years of dust gathering on my skills.  I never did feel confident sewing, but I'm taking another stab at it, and I think that has also led me here.

I have a secret goal in mind... to sew my wedding dress.  Ok so maybe it's not so secret anymore, but you understand right?  A girls gotta tell somebody.  This whole sewing my future dress (or maybe it'll be a sassy pants suit, who knows!) requires a lot of practice on many projects before I could ever feel confident taking on such a major public display of my work.  

I have to say, I think I can do it.  After reviewing a bunch of books from the library on sewing like a sample maker and custom sewn wedding dresses, I have gotten a little more fluency down with the lingo.  French seam, Hong Kong seam, boning, lining, underlining, facing, interfacing, serge, sew, overlock... woof.